Lessons I Am Learning: The Importance of Little Things

UPDATE: In a post this summer I told you all that I was working on becoming a volunteer at New Beginnings Pregnancy Services. Since then, I have successfully begun volunteering there. It's been a great experience and has not been without its challenges as well. It's obvious that God wants me there. It's been good.

So, now for my story: A few weeks ago I was at New Beginnings. I had brought some crochet work because often my hands are happier if they are doing something, so I figured I would keep them busy. Sometimes I end up watching educational videos or things slow down in the front office, so it works out well. Everyone asked what I was making. That particular day I was working on a glove--nothing particularly exciting or meaningful.

After that, I ended up deciding that if I brought my crochet work back to the office, I would make things for our clients--baby shoes, hats or blankets--so that my busy-work would add value even if it was just a fun hobby.

So, the next week I brought some more yarn, this time to make a pair of baby shoes (using this pattern). The pattern I chose was a very quick one, so I actually finished this pair of shoes while I was there. They were a hit! Melissa, the volunteer coordinator, made me take pictures of them for her and then leave them on the desk so she and the other ladies could admire them.

 

The next week I brought with me a pair of shoes I had finished over the week. (It turns out I spend enough time in one week on the phone or otherwise chatting with people  to make a whole pair of baby shoes!) I worked on another pair while I was there, using this pattern. And now I am making great progress on a blanket, the first one I have made in a really long time. 

 

I say all this because the last few weeks have shown me how important something little can be. My hobby, something that I brought just to keep my hands busy, has become a huge way to contribute to the place I am volunteering. Why is that? Because taking the time to make something with my hands shows our clients that someone loves them and cares for them. They don't have to go through one of the hardest things they will ever do alone. God is there, and so are the ladies of New Beginnings. Every time they use the shoes or the blanket they got, they can remember that someone else out there cares. And that is a beautiful thing.

 

 

Yes, little things are powerful things. I have many things that seem of little importance to the outside observer, but they have acquired a deeper significance because special friends gave them to me or told me about them or told me they liked me wearing them.

 

This week, don't forget the power of the little things!

 

 

P.S. On the note of crocheting, I found a new organization that does some amazing work internationally to save women from sex slavery by giving them a trade and helping them earn a living for themselves and their children. It's called Eternal Threads. A representative of the organization was visiting my school today, and she was selling some incredible crocheted bags and other handmade items.

 

 

You can't really see the beautiful detail on this bag. But to give you an idea of the complexity and beauty, take another look at the lacy baby shoes in the picture above. They probably took me three hours to do. That bag.....it would take me years! But these ladies make and sell the bags for a living to keep themselves and their children safe. Wow. (I am sure the other students in the Student Center this morning got a good laugh at me geeking out about the workmanship on the bag. I was blown away and it was probably hilarious...)

 

In any case, I would encourage you to check out Eternal Threads' products. They go to support a great cause, and the craftsmanship on the products is some of the best I have seen in a long time. This is another one of those little things that can do big things.

 

 



Lessons I am Learning: God's Way of Talking

You know how sometimes you have days when God is silent and you wonder what in the world He is up to? And you know how other days you find yourself wondering how God got ahold of your mail and is reading it back into your face?

Today was definitely a God, why are you reading my mail?! day.

Often I read “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young at night before I head to bed (you can find it here: http://www.thomasnelson.com/jesus-calling.html). Tonight I read:

“Seek me with your whole being. I desire to be found by you, and I orchestrate the events of your life with that purpose in mind. When things go well and you are blessed, you can feel Me smiling on you. When you encounter rough patches along your life-journey, trust that My Light is still shining upon you. My reasons for allowing these adversities may be shrouded in mystery, but My continual Presence with you is an absolute promise. Seek Me in good times; seek Me in hard times. You will find me watching over you all the time.”

 

Reading this just confirmed the sense I had felt over this whole day—that God was looking out for me and speaking, through my circumstances and those around me, directly to my heart.

I have a story from today that I would love to share with you. Here is a little background to get you started:

·         Church struggles: When I left school in May for the summer, the church I have attended while at school for the past two years was going through a major transition. The pastor was one of the aspects of the church that originally drew me there, and he and his family had left to be missionaries. When I left, I had no clue how it would go over, so I was reticent and reluctant to go back this fall. I was mourning my pastor’s departure, and wasn’t sure how the church was going to be doing without them.  I guess you could say that I really don’t like changing to a different church, but I didn’t really like my church changing either? In any case, I wasn’t sure about this semester. God knew that, and I’d been asking Him what to do about my uncertainty. 

·         The class I am super excited about: I had my first session of Honors Integrated Theology on Thursday of this week. To start off the class, we are reading a book called “Mosaic of Christian Belief: Twenty Centuries of Unity and Diversity.”  In the preface and first chapter, it talked a lot about how there are essentials to the Christian faith that makes it strong and unique. Then there are other things that are important or often come along with the faith that different groups disagree about. It brings in the quote, “In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, and in all things charity” as a main principle for theological pursuit and debate. When I read this quote earlier this week, I was so struck by it that I wrote it down and then posted it on Facebook. I also wrote, “Lord, help me to approach my theology class this semester and my Christian friends always with this attitude. Amen.”  Later in the semester, we are going to have some study on Islam in comparison to Christianity so we can understand the people around us and the value of our faith in Christ. I am very excited about this class and the things I will be learning.  

The story: Obviously God had a plan in place to set me at ease this Sunday! First of all, when I walked through the church doors this morning, it felt like home. Happy memories washed over me. We sang all my favorite songs in worship. I saw many people I knew and joyously greeted them after months of not seeing each other. I felt God’s presence. One of my housemates asked to come with me to church this morning (thanks, Jewel!) and it was fun to have her there. One man shared an encouraging update on a friend I hadn’t seen for a while and had completely lost touch with.

Not to mention the pastor’s sermon! He spoke on the 7 “ones” from Ephesians 4 that help us understand the areas in which it is essential to be unified in the church body: one body, one Spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all. He even used the quote from our “Mosaic” book: “In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty, and in all things charity” in the middle of the sermon! Then they announced a Sunday school class focused on how to understand the Muslim faith with the intent of reaching out with the love of God to them. I went to the class and learned some new things. All of the connections to what I was already processing in my mind from class this week took me totally by surprise. It was wonderful and delightful.  Now I am even excited to go back next week!

So, I am taking this as evidence of God reading my mail, hearing the cry of my heart for wisdom and guidance, and choosing to give me opportunities to learn more about him, both in school and in church.

Yesterday I did not have peace or understanding concerning where I would attend church this semester and how that would go. Today, I know God has shown that He is working. While there was no neon arrow in the sky, I feel him “smiling on me” today. He orchestrated the events of my life to help me understand a sliver of what He has up His sleeve for me this semester. When things get hard, I will know He is still there, because He is “watching over me all the time.”

Dear Lord, Don’t let me forget times like this when You orchestrate the events of my life to help me see You and Your will more clearly. Thank you that You watch over me, and that You give me wisdom and clarity in the midst of uncertainty and confusion. I pray Your blessing over me, my fellow believers, and my fellow students as we seek to learn and draw closer to You this year and in all the years to come. We praise You for all You are and all You have done for us. Amen.

Lessons I Am Learning: Babies are Precious

How the Learning Began

I have always loved babies. I remember my mom saying, “Babies are precious” frequently as I grew up, especially when she saw a new little one at church or any number of other occasions. My older cousins started having kids a long time ago, and I loved seeing the new little ones at family get-togethers. The last couple years, my friends have started getting married and having offspring of their own. The fact that people had babies was normal to me, so I never really realized how many obstacles stood between an unborn child and life. That is, until earlier this year.

I suppose this train of thought began in earnest around April of this year. We can blame the start of it on watching the movie “October Baby,” which, if you haven’t seen it, is the story of a young woman searching for answers after she finds out from her adoptive parents that she is the byproduct of a “failed abortion.” In other words, in the eyes of some, she wasn’t supposed to exist in the first place. With this information, what did her life mean anyway? And where was she supposed to go from here? This movie made me think, heightened my awareness, and touched my heart. A little low-budget and a lot pro-life? Yes. Really good? Also yes.

 

The week after I watched “October Baby,” the story assignment to cover Arkansas’ new law on abortion, limiting it to the first 12 weeks of a mother’s pregnancy, came across my desk at the Threefold Advocate student newspaper (Full story here: http://advocate.jbu.edu/?q=node/766). For this story, I did a ton of research, including visiting with the local crisis pregnancy center, interviewing people who had worked there, reading up on the bill that had passed, studying media reactions on both sides of the issue, checking the website of the one full-fledged abortion clinic in Arkansas that I could track down, looking at Planned Parenthood’s website for press releases and other information.... you get the idea. Suffice it to say, I had a lot of new, conflicting, mind-boggling and heart-breaking information swirling around in my head. I did most of the research while snowed in at my boyfriend’s family’s house after spring break. The poor, wonderful guy had to put up with me as I mentally processed all the newly-added data. When I got back to school, I wrote the article, striving to be informative and balanced, and moved on with prepping for finals week.

Around the same time, a beloved professor of mine found out that she and her husband are unable to have children. As she has grieved the ability to ever give birth to a child that is her flesh and blood, she has also begun the process of adoption. They’re waiting to take the children that no one else wants from a far-away country that God has placed on their hearts. My heart goes out to them for their pain and rejoices in their hope. I look forward to meeting their eventual new little ones, the unwanted who become beloved in the arms of her family.

In my International Marketing class, we did a case on whether General Electric was responsible for the deaths of thousands of baby girls in predominately Asian countries. The reason? They manufacture ultrasound machines, which can be used to determine the sex of the child before it is carried to term, even though doing so is illegal. Because girls are considered undesirable, many are aborted before birth. Others are abandoned or killed after birth because their family cannot or will not keep them.

Shortly after that, I was looking for summer jobs. In my search, I ran across an ad on our student portal looking for an intern at a house for young pregnant girls who needed help.  I researched the place. Too bad I was 4 months too young to actually qualify for the position. But it had still tugged at my heart.

 A week later I was on the phone with a lady from the crisis pregnancy center near where my folks live. Did they need any help with marketing or public relations stuff? Maybe I could count it for my internship credit?  They were willing to explore the idea. In the end, I ended up getting a wonderful intern position at Nazarene Publishing House instead, but those questions added another step to my mental journey.

Sometime this spring, I clicked “like” on Facebook for a few pages such as National Right to Life, Heartbeat International, Save the Storks, and CareNet out of curiosity. After that, news stories, pictures and more information came floating across my screen.  I began reading more stories—what it looks like to have a child with Down’s Syndrome, fathers who wished they had prevented their children from being aborted, new laws being passed, mothers burdened with regret, abortion clinics shutting down, former abortion doctors being tried for murder, nurses testifying about what they had seen in abortion clinics, ways to help grieving women, stories of successful adoption, a man finding his birth mother through the Internet nearly 60 years after his birth, and many more.

At church this summer, a pastor was talking and something tugged at my heart again. I had pushed aside all thought of the interviews I did before I wrote the abortion law article this spring because I was busy, but now their words were suddenly back in full force.  I turned to my boyfriend and said something like, “I am going to volunteer at the crisis pregnancy center this next semester.” That’s all. But it was enough.

Before we left on vacation as a family this summer, I was meandering around the library website, looking for e-books to check out and read on the long car rides. One of the ones I found was “Expecting Adam” by Martha Beck. It was about a woman and her husband who found out she was carrying a child with Down’s Syndrome during their time at Harvard as doctoral students. Deciding to keep the baby turned their lives upside-down in ways they could only have imagined. It was not your stereotypical pro-life book, but rather a gripping story of her personal journey, lovingly reconstructed from her journals and the accounts of her friends and family. She didn’t decide to keep the baby because she was some pro-life fanatic or because she just was eager and overjoyed to bring a “retarded” kid into the world, but because Adam was her flesh and blood and miraculous things kept happening around her during her pregnancy. She had fought so hard to get through the five and a half months of pregnancy preceding her diagnosis; she was determined to stay pregnant.  She fought hard against the pressures from her Harvard peers and professors to just “get rid of the problem.” She never imagined what joy and perspective Adam would bring to their lives. I just finished reading the book the other day. I might not agree with all of her ideology/mysticism, but it was definitely a good, thought-provoking read. It gave me perspective and empathy that I was previously lacking.

In my advertising class this spring, we often recited the mantra, “If you want the ladies [to buy your product], show them the babies.” Research shows that the average woman is positively disposed toward baby faces, and that positivity transfers over to the product itself. Or so they say.

Well, this month, the Royal Baby, Prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge, was born. Johnson and Johnson obviously used the strategy of “showing the babies” in its new ad in People Magazine issue celebrating the royal birth this month. “We believe every child should be treated like Royalty,” said one page. In the middle was a baby in a bathtub with a crown of bubbles suspended on his little, flaxen head. Good job. You got my attention.

 

 For some reason, all the news coverage on the Royal Baby got me thinking. What I realized was that usually the media argues that a child inside the womb should most accurately be called a fetus, and that fetus is merely a “lump of tissue” in all other cases. But suddenly, when the prince and princess were expecting their first offspring, that son was a baby. Not a Royal Fetus, but a Royal Baby. That has to count for something, right? That deep down, despite all the wars over “choice” and “life” and “pro” and “anti,” at the purest level of our communal understanding, we still recognize that which comes out of a womb is a baby. What this is telling me is that when an unborn child is unwanted it is a fetus. When it is wanted, it is a baby. This duplicity made me angry, which made me think some more, which is why I even began writing this post in the first place.

What I Have Learned

When I sat down and started writing, I began with all the events and thoughts I remembered that led up to my recent flaming indignation. As I wrote, I came to understand that there are a number of lessons I have learned the last few months.

First, I am coming to the renewed realization of is that children are precious. Yes. I love babies! I look forward to the day when I am married and begin my own family. I love on my cousins and enjoy a babysitting gig on occasion. Of course, my boyfriend and other friends know the look I get in my eyes when I spot a precious newborn or a precocious toddler at church. Every muscle in my body strains to hold that little one, to breathe in the scent of innocence, mischief, slightly-sour milk, and baby powder. A look from the too-big eyes of a baby is enough to make my heart melt.

So, I love babies. And the average person loves babies. And the United Kingdom loves babies (at least when it’s the future heir to the throne of their country). So, why do so many of our national policies and tax dollars go toward preventing children from being born in the United States every year?

Secondly, I understand abortion is not an “easy option.”  While I know the arguments about underprivileged people, babies and mommies with health issues, teen pregnancies, rape victims and other challenges, I don’t think those cases fully account for the prevalence of abortion in my world today. I am not being “anti-choice” here. I just want to know why it is that abortion is widely considered the first option, and the “easy” option! It is financially expensive, emotionally devastating, and potentially physically dangerous for the mother. Not to mention that it takes the life of a child. What about the people who work in these facilities and the emotional toll it takes on them?

 I believe that women should be given other options. Because there ARE other options!  I don’t know what all of them are, but I believe there is a better way than abortion in nearly every circumstance. Abortion is a medical procedure that rips a living being out of the safety of a mother’s womb and leaves nothing in return. There are options out there that can link mothers with  loving and supportive people who can guide them toward emotional healing, spiritual strength, financial help, medical care, a family to raise the child if she cannot, and possibly the chance to see that child again if she so chooses.

While “getting rid of the problem” seems like a good choice in the short run, the long run consequences often are devastating. The memory of a life-not-lived can endure long after the procedure is over, and may never fully disappear. Carrying the child to term has its own crazy challenges. Yet, imagine the healing in the long run. She had the amazing and terribly difficult chance to bring a life into the world after carrying him or her under her heart for 9 months. She has the chance to see the child she cannot care for on her own raised by people who (hopefully) love her child as much as she does. She is empowered to take care of her child in the best way she knows how, instead of being forced to get rid of it because she has no other option.

            Thirdly, I have learned that I want to do something about what I believe. I want to be someone that is understanding and empathic, not legalistic and hateful, nor passive and uninvolved. I want to reach out in love to the women who are making huge, hard and impactful choices about their future and the life of the babies in their wombs. I want to be a friend to those who need it. I want to be a listening ear with godly, caring, wise advice to those who have nowhere else to turn. As I mentioned earlier, I think I am going to try and volunteer at a pregnancy center this next semester. I am hoping that experience will give me more insight and empathy. I want to know how I can help. It is no longer enough for me to say that I think unborn babies are worth saving, or to think that abortion shouldn’t be the only option. That puts me with the masses of other people who are doing nothing. I need to do something about it.

None of this is easy, but it is worth doing. I feel like I am listening to the desire God placed in my heart. If you read this far, I want to thank you. I also want to encourage you to look at your own heart. What lessons are you learning? What desires is God placing on your heart? Where do you need to put action to your beliefs?

Under New Management

Each week when I drove to church while I was in Kansas City this summer, I drove past a sign. This sign stood outside a rather ordinary apartment complex in the “okay” part of town.  In shiny white letters on a field of dark blue, the sign declared:

NOW UNDER...

New ownership
New management
New attitude

The pessimistic side of me wondered what terrible service had happened under the previous ownership that made the new owners want to so emphatically declare that they were new, and therefore (hopefully) different and better. But I won’t ever know that side of the story.

I do, however, know a different story, which could be introduced by the same declaration as above. It’s the narrative of every Christian who has given his or her life to Christ and is striving to live by His standards.

New Ownership

Isaiah 43:1 declares that God has ownership over us, and we are His:

“But now, this is what the Lord says—

    he who created you, Jacob,

    he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”

While we all are originally God’s creation, many of us he had to buy back, or redeem, from the grasp of sin. Now that we are under new ownership, some changes are expected. We must live like kids of the Kingdom and abide by its rules and standards. That way, the people around us can see the difference. We don’t need a blue sign with white letters declaring we’re different; people should be able to tell that from the way we think, act and speak.

 New Management

When we become owned by God, we immediately invite the Holy Spirit into our lives as the agent of change. While Jesus was on earth, he was able to guide, or “manage” his disciples and those around Him. Now, however, He is in heaven advocating for us at the right hand of the Father, and He has sent the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us. We’re under new management. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth (John 16:13).

The Holy Spirit serves lots of purposes, but one of His main jobs is to lead us and guide us to a deeper right relationship with our God and Savior. In Galatians 5, Paul lists what people who don’t have the Spirit in them do, and then contrasts those actions with what has come to be known as the “fruit of the Spirit.” He then concludes with this encouragement: Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit (Galatians 5:25). The fact that we are “under new management” should be evident to those around us because of the Holy Spirit’s influence on our lives. We should “keep in step” with Him.

New Attitude  

Finally, after being bought back from sin and keeping in step with the Spirit, our attitude should reflect our new position as a child of God. As a child, I learned that I am supposed to be a light in the dark world around me. Both the song, “This Little Light of Mine” and a verse, Matthew 5:16, serve as reminders of that. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

For years I have loved the description Philippians 2 contains of Jesus’ attitude here on earth. I especially enjoyed how the Message put it [though it is not my normal reading translation]:

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion. Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father (Philippians 2:5-11).

As we learn from Christ’s example, the rewards of having a godly attitude are huge. As sons and daughters of a living God, we have a great role model and a crowd of witnesses cheering us on.

So pick that white-lettered blue sign out of your yard and start living like people will notice. I need to do the same. Let’s do it!

The Superhero Experiment: a fight against perfectionism

For the last two years, my academic advisor’s main goal seems to be to persuade me to do less each semester. He once told me I had a “superhero syndrome” and I always wondered what he meant by that.

Furthermore, other professors have told me that I shouldn’t be such a perfectionist, and a few even mentioned that they think it would be good for me to get a C grade in a class at some point. What’s the deal here? I wondered.

For many months, I looked at these wise and kind people like they were crazy.  I’m not a perfectionist, I would think. You haven’t seen some of my friends! My life and my room look disorderly and chaotic compared to theirs! You don’t understand!

Yet, recently I have grown to understand that those advisors and professors weren’t nearly as crazy as I thought. I did struggle with perfectionistic tendencies. I often asked myself if I had “done my best” and I if I felt like I had not, I was frustrated and disappointed in myself.

So, I began thinking more about this whole “superhero” thing. What is a superhero anyway? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a superhero is “a fictional hero having extraordinary or superhuman powers; also: an exceptionally skillful or successful person.”

I may not be able to go faster than a speeding bullet, be mightier than a locomotive, or to jump tall buildings in a single bound, but I have been given gifts, talents and abilities that make me extraordinary. And we’re not talking about just me here, either. Each one of us has been given a place, an identity, and talents that God wants us to use to serve Him.  In fact, God made us for that purpose: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10). Moreover, there are lists of spiritual gifts and exhortations to look at the church as one body with many members, each serving a different purpose. We are integral parts of the world God created, and it would be somehow depleted if one of us were missing. We have purpose in this world.

Now, I must confess that pretty much the only superhero movie I have been exposed to is the newest Spiderman movie, but that’s enough to get a pretty good idea of one central point: a superhero cannot exist fully without his or her civilian counterpart. Without Peter Parker there would be no Spiderman, without Clark Kent there would be no Superman, and without Diana there would be no Wonder Woman.

The implications of this assertion are extensive.

Let’s say that I could think of myself as having characteristics of both “Civilian Laura” and “Superhero Laura,” and both of those identities are fully and inseparably attached to this 19-year-old college student. The Superhero part is the one that is fully awake in her class, with her homework done and engaging in meaningful intellectual discussion. Maybe the Superhero is also leading a project, running a program, participating in ministry, teaching, tutoring, and hanging out with friends. And of course the Superhero gets good grades, too. (Maybe even a 4.0!) Meanwhile, the Civilian may go largely unnoticed, but is necessary to sustain the Superhero. After all, even Superheroes need to sleep, eat, do laundry and homework, clean under the bed occasionally, work out, call home, talk to the boyfriend, figure out what she is going to do this summer, research for that paper that is due, and all the other mundane, non-glitzy, ordinary tasks that must be done. The Civilian may show up to class just barely on time with her breakfast bar in her hand and hair still damp from the shower she took 15 minutes ago. Perhaps she is the one urgently waiting in the Walmart check-out line, or sitting next to you at the cafeteria table with a spoon in one hand and a textbook in another. The Civilian is less often noticed, but is an integral part of the whole.

You may be wondering why the Civilian and Superhero are so integrally tied together. It is because of the economic concept of opportunity cost. This is the fact that decision-making is necessitated by a limited amount of time, energy or resources. For example, if you have one hour, you could perhaps drive to Tulsa, or you could study for an exam, but you couldn’t do both. If you have $5, you can only spend it once. If you spend that $5 on a pot of tea to share at Pour Jon’s, you can’t use the same $5 to buy a card and gift for Mother’s Day. You have given up that opportunity in lieu of something you considered better.

Now, in our Civilian/Superhero illustration, the act of being a Superhero consumes and incredible amount of energy. The fact is that amount exertion is just not sustainable in the long run.  Take a look at this chart:

 

I only have much time, energy and resources available to me each day. (You can’t get out of the circle.) Thus, in order to get each thing done, I have to decide how much I am willing to spend on that activity. (Depicted by the slices of the pie.) If I exert superhuman power toward one task, that leaves less to go around for the other. If I let the civilian take care of part of the responsibilities, that leaves more energy to go around to the other. The trick is finding the balance, and that is an unending challenge.

In times of extreme pressure, such as finals week, moving across the country, or any number of situations, sometimes things that the Civilian normally would take care of get eclipsed by the Superhero’s need for more resources. Those things get deferred to a later time. That’s fine, as long as there is a time in the near future when the Civilian can catch up. Yet, when that demand goes on for weeks and months, with the Superhero trying to take care of everything and leaving no time for the Civilian to take a breath, you end up with a weary and burnt-out duo that can’t hardly make a decision or get through another week. That’s when you need a friend to call you up and tenderly say, “Take off the cape, Wonder Woman.” You need to sleep, and eat, and take care of the normal things that concern you. The Civilian needs a chance to catch up.

This concept is why it is nearly physically impossible for any one person to give 100% on every assignment. There is simply not enough to go around. In order to maintain anything resembling a work-life balance, something has got to give. Some people choose to give up their sanity, and others choose to give up perfectionism.

Perfectionism can be given up, too. In fact, I don’t know why we think we’re ever perfect in the first place. I have heard it said, “There was only one perfect man on the earth, and we crucified him.” It’s true. We can be excellent. We can do our best. We can get the job done well. We cannot be perfect.

I worry sometimes if people like the Civilian side of me. (Please don’t take this as a cry for attention, because it’s not. It’s just a thought that has occurred to me. You probably can relate, too.) I rather like my Superhero side, because it’s awesome, cool, smart, pulled together, and on top of its game. That’s the person I want to be. But I have to admit that when my Civilian side is in her pajamas at 10 a.m. on Saturday, I like that side a lot too! Over the last weeks and months, I have been learning to accept that both are integral, and that I can love myself—and others can love me—for who I am as a whole person, whether I am feeling or acting particularly extraordinarily that day or not.

In the process, I have found many people who love my Civilian side; who hold me when I am crying, listen patiently when I am angry, and support me when I am down or sick or disappointed. If people only like the Superhero side of me, they don’t know me well enough. And if I find myself looking at someone else and thinking, They look pretty super and awesome and cool, I need to make sure I am not idolizing their Superhero persona, but getting to know them as a whole person as well.

If, after reading this, you begin to think that I have it all figured out, think again. I am sharing these things with you because they are so hard for me. I struggle with maintaining balance and giving up perfectionism every day. There are always choices to be made, and usually the Superhero is begging for more energy than I can give it. Yes, being a Superhero is fun, but I am learning to also love my Civilian side and to conserve my energy for the things that really matter. I have learned that “doing my best” means that I used my resources well, not that I did everything perfectly. So I continue to strive to do my best, and let God do the rest. I pray the same for you, dear reader.

Mis poemas

I've been in a Spanish literature class this semester and I had to write five poems in Spanish as our final project. I struggled with this assignment for quite a while. I am no great poet in English, so writing in Spanish has been a challenge. Yet, I am proud of the work I did, and I wanted to share it. Enjoy reading! (If you can!)

 

The titles in English would be as follows:
 

1. The mask

2. The wind

3. How is the life of a college student?

4. A game of words

5. A prayer

 

 

P.S. If you have any suggested corrections, I would love to learn more about the language, so feel free to leave me comments. Gracias!

La Máscara

 

Soy un indígena de Colombia.

Quiero ver con la perspectiva

de los dioses. Por esto haría

una máscara de colores, con amarilla,

verde, roja y café. Y cada ojo brillará.

 

Con la máscara, puedo ver

 las cosas de la vida y el muerte.

Las marcas en mi cara

son evidencia de la dificultad

de la vida de un dios.

 

El estrés de la vida de los dioses

Es tan difícil. No tengo la fuerza

Que necesito por esta vida.

Pondré la máscara en mi pared.

Dejaré esta vida.

Soy solamente humano.

Soy colombiano.

 

 

El Viento

 

Cuando el sol está brillante

Y la hierba viva y cultiva

A dentro de mis dedos del pie,

El viento me abraza

Y me toca tiernamente.

Bienvenido, verano, mi hermana.

 

Cuando el sol es un globo,

Como una naranja suspendida en el cielo,

Y el follaje se cambia a una alfombra

Del oro por mis pies, el viento

Murmura en las hojas muertes y bonitas,

Bienvenido, otoño, mi amigo.

 

Cuando el cielo está cubierto de nubes

Y la nieve hace una manta en que

Mis botas imprimen sus caminos,

El viento me toca con sus dedos fríos

Y me deja sin calor ni consuelo.

Bienvenido, invierno, mi enemigo.

 

Cuando el sol regresa al mundo

Y trae vida a las flores y árboles,

Las almas que parecen muertes y fríos

Viven por un  día más,

El viento lleva los pétalos y perfumes

A mi nariz y en gozo mi corazón dice,

<<Bienvenida, primavera, mi amor.>>

 

 

¿Cómo es la vida de los estudiantes?

 

El profesor de la universidad mira a su reloj. Son las 9:50 de la mañana de lunes.

Y los estudiantes cierran sus mochilas, levan sus llaves y teléfonos y rápidamente salen.

Los estudiantes diferentes se dispersan como los pétalos de los árboles en la primavera.

Gabriela estudia biología con amigos,

Sonia va a la cafetería para almorzar, sola.

Johnny toma una siesta porque estudió por toda la noche, sin dormir.

Jenny  se abraza y se besa a su novio enfrente de la puerta de Mayfield Hall,

Mientras su amiga, Susana, discute con su compañera del cuarto, Ruth,

 Quien nunca limpia su mitad del dormitorio.

Después, ella se llama a su madre por teléfono para explicar la tensión y el estrés.

Su madre dice, <<va a ser mejor, mi hija. Te amo.>> Y Ruth llora un poco.

Juana practica con su equipo de básquetbol,

Le duele el hombro, y luego se pone hielo sobre el hombro en la cafetería. 

Kim va a correr y Ana va a escribir un ensayo,

Julio hace su tarea de matemáticas y Hannah hace cálculos de químicas para un experimento,

Elisa busca ideas del mercadotécnica con un grupo de estudiantes de negocios,

Mientras Jacob toca la guitarra en el catedral, donde él practica mucho.

Después de su práctica, Jacob prepara a preguntar a su novia si quiere casarse con él.

Todos conocen el duelo, el gozo, el estrés, éxitos,  fracasos, y oportunidades para aprender.

Todos viven vidas preocupadas,  pero tienen los momentos, los sorpresas bonitas también.

Son las 9:00 de la mañana de miércoles.

Uno a uno, los estudiantes regresan al salón de clase,

Sacan sus carpetas y lápices, y tratan a prestar atención al profesor.

Estos 50 minutos son todo el tiempo que el profesor tiene con ellos.

Él vio a los ojos cansados, los cuerpos encorvados, y las sonrisas reluctantes,

Y él piensa, ¿Cómo es la vida de un estudiante en universidad?

En esta pregunta,  empezó a entender el corazón de cada estudiante,

Con experiencias y vidas diferentes en la vida de universidad.

Porque, en realidad, esta vida no es simplemente cursos, clases, tareas, ensayos y proyectos.

Es una vida difícil y gratificante.

El profesor de la universidad mira a su reloj. Son las 9:50 en la mañana de miércoles.

Y los estudiantes cierran sus mochilas, levan sus llaves y teléfonos y rápidamente salen.

 

El juego de palabras

 

Cuando una persona habla dos lenguajes,

A veces las palabras suenan iguales,

Pero significan conceptos muy diferentes.

Esto es el juego de letras y sílabas:

<<Mama, ¿Dónde está  mi llave?,>> dijo Ana.

Mama respondió, <<Está aquí.>>

<<I know it is ‘a key’, Mom!>> dijo Ana,

Y ella se rió y dijo, <<No, está aquí, it is here.>>

Ana dijo, <<Oh, gracias. Voy a la casa de mi amiga. See ya!>>

<<¿Silla?>> preguntó mama. <<Porque hablaste de una silla?>>

<<No, mama, nos vemos. See ya later,>>Ana dijo.

 

Ana llegó a la casa de su amiga. <<Hola Carla,>> ella dijo.

<<Estaba corriendo hacia la puerta

 Y me caí por las escaleras.

¡Mi hermano lo vio y se rió a mí!

Ahora, estoy embarazada,>> Carla explicó.

Ana respondió, <<Carla, no estás embarazada.

Estás avergonzada.

Si estaba embarazada,

Sería dar a la luz a un hijo en nueve meses.>>

Cuando una persona habla dos lenguajes,

A veces las palabras suenan iguales,

Pero significan conceptos muy diferentes.

Esto es el juego de letras y sílabas.  

 

Una oración

 

Una joven se sentaba abajo de un árbol con su diario.

Es el primer día de su segundo año en universidad,

Y tiene sentimientos encontrados, estrés y alivio.

Con una mano elegante, escribí una oración a Dios:

Padre, hablas en mi vida todos los días.

Amo cuando haces esto.

Me dijiste, <<Dame confianza. Camina. Descansa.>>

Este año, estoy una persona nueva.

No soy perdida;  estoy integra.

No tengo miedo; estoy liberada.

No estoy aterrorizada; tengo confianza en ti.

No estoy celosa; estoy alegre.

No estoy orgullosa o preocupada; estoy tranquila.

Mis esfuerzos no pueden producir justificación,

Pero en la presencia de Cristo, estoy redimida.

No estoy aislada; estoy amada.

No estoy destruida; estoy tu hija bella.

Gradualmente, su mano deja de escribir y sus hombros relajaban.

Ella se sentía la presencia de Dios por un momento.

Cerró su diario, se puso en pie, y regresó a casa.

Regresará muy pronto a este lugar santo para orar,

Pero ahora tiene responsabilidades y cosas urgentes para hacer.