Fear...Not What God Has Called Me To

Sometimes I get scared. I try to take things into my own hands. I get frustrated. I lose hope.

But, friends, that’s not what God wants!

I have been dealing with some fear, frustration, and uncertainty recently. Although I don’t want to go into detail about why, I want to share with you what helped me the last couple days. To do that, I want to share part of what I found myself praying this morning. (See Romans chapter 8)

Dear Lord,

 I consider that my present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in me.  I wait in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed.  For I am subjected to frustration, not by my own choice, but by the will of the One who subjected me, in hope that I will be liberated from my bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of a child of God.

  I know that the whole creation, including me, has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but I, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as I wait eagerly for my adoption as a daughter of God, the redemption of my body. For in this hope I was saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if I hope for what I do not yet have, I wait for it patiently.

  In the same way, the Spirit helps me in my weakness. I do not know what I ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for me with groans that words cannot express.  And You who search my heart know the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for me and all the saints in accordance with Your will.

 And I know that in all things You work for the good of those who love You, who have been called according to Your purpose.  For those You foreknew you also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of Your Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.  And those You predestined, You also called; those You called, You also justified; those You justified, You also glorified.

  What, then, shall I say in response to this? If You are for me, who can be against me?  You who did not spare Your own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will You not also, along with Him, graciously give me and those I care most about all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom You have chosen? It is You who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at Your right hand and is also interceding for me.  Who shall separate me from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

   “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

  No, in all these things I am more than a conqueror through You who loved me.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate me from Your love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord….

I love you, Lord. Thank you for being there for me whenever I need you. I can depend on you for anything and I know that Your Spirit intercedes for me even when I don’t have the words to say. Thank you for writing my story. I trust you, even when I am fearful, frustrated, and uncertain. I know you have my steps ordered before I even have time to be scared about anything. One thing I know for sure: You are there.

Your beloved child,

Laura

Adventures of a Windy Day

“Holy Spirit, breathe on me

Breathe Your life in me.

Oh Lord, send Your wind into this valley

And breathe the breath of life into our souls.

Raise us again a mighty army,

For soon these arisen warriors will battle again.

For we have been filled with the Spirit wind.

Oh Lord, we need You now, breath Your life into us.”

        ~ Spirit Wind, from Casting Crowns newest album, ‘Come to the Well’

I have a funny story to tell you. Two, actually. Incidentally, I have been rescuing wind-buffeted items from enduring or inflicting serious harm today.

The first time was while we were sitting in the parking lot of Kroger after church this morning. Dad and Rachel had gone inside to get some black-eyed peas (the canned bean, not the popular band) to fulfill the southern tradition of eating said legumes on New Year’s Day. Meanwhile, because it was raining and windy, Mom and I stayed in the car. A few minutes later, a woman pushed a cart into the cart corral next to our car. The trouble was that it didn’t particularly want to stay there. After the unsuspecting woman was well on her way back to her nice, warm, dry car, that pesky little cart, propelled by the strong wind, backed itself out of the cart corral, then turned around and headed for Chipotle (just like every other resident of Mt. Vernon wants to do, I suppose). Surprised, Mom and I watched for a moment. Then I actually realized what was happening, hurriedly shoved my black leather flats onto my feet, and hopped out to rescue the runaway cart. I not-so-gently persuaded it to stay where it belonged and then climbed back into our own nice, warm, dry car.

I suppose one occurrence of this incident would not have been out of the ordinary, but this same series of events happened not once, but twice more before Dad and Rachel finally got out of the store. (I guess it took them a while to find the black-eyed peas, and they bought a few other things, too). Each time, an innocent shopper pushed his or her cart into the cart corral. A few moments later, the wind caught it and began to navigate it out toward the parking lot again. Each time, I grudgingly hopped out of the car to save the poor little shopping cart.

I just had to laugh.

Coming home for lunch, I thought my wind-blown rescue efforts had concluded for the day. Nope. No such luck. This time, while we were sitting at the table, the wind picked up one of our patio chairs and tipped it over against the glass table. The wind then threatened to blow away the chair to the left of the first one. (These aren’t puny chairs, either. They’re metal frames with mesh-like back and seat and a swirly bottom.) I jumped up, ran out the door, and held on for dear life while the rest of the family figured out what to do with the almost-prodigal seats. Four wind-whipped Rollers then carried the chairs out to the storage barn for safe keeping until the wind died down.

So what, you may say. You chased some runaway shopping carts and patio chairs today. Who cares?

Good question. You see, all this wind-whipped chasing got me thinking about the power of the wind. I mean, really. We can’t see it, yet we still know it’s there. We can hear it whipping around the house on a windy day, maybe even causing the house to shift and creak. The wind can move big things, like ships, or even solidly built patio chairs. It can cause 18-year-olds to run in an undignified manner across the Kroger parking lot….and you can’t even see the stupid stuff! Where does it come from? Why does it have such force?

In John 3, Nicodemus was in a similar quandary over how the Spirit of God operated. He couldn’t see the Spirit. He didn’t know where He came from. He didn’t understand His power. Yet, Nicodemus instinctively knew the Spirit did exist and he could see the evidence of His work in the world around him daily. Jesus explained to Nicodemus that, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit” (John 3:8, NIV).

People look at us, and all they may see is a pesky cart rolling across the Kroger parking lot unaided or a too-big patio chair being buffeted by the wind. It is more significant than that, however. There is something more than meets the eye.

Like the grocery cart, people around us realize we’re different, but few of them can figure out why. It’s the Spirit of God, my friends. That’s what makes us different, hard-to-explain, and powerful Christians. We have the living, breathing, powerful Spirit inside of us, guiding and directing us. The Spirit gives us many, many gifts. (See Galatians 5:22-23, 1 Corinthians 1:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12, 1 Corinthians 14, John 14:25-27, etc.) He leads us on the paths of righteousness and He is there for us in our time of need. He gives us power to minister and helps us understand the Scriptures. We can’t see Him and we can’t really understand Him, but we know He’s there by the evidence in the world around us. Just like the wind.

Holy Spirit, breath on me. Breathe Your life in me.